The Complicated Emotions About Mother's Day
Here I am, sitting at my computer at 3 a.m. on Mother’s Day 2026. I expect my precious little 5-month-old baby to cry for me at any moment, and I will happily (sleepily?) jump up to feed him. How many years I have dreamed and prayed and pictured this day coming, when I could actually stand up proudly at church and receive the flower so sweetly given to all the moms in the congregation. But as I have been anticipating this day, it still fills me with dread and such mixed emotions. For over a third of my life, I have wanted this day to pass by quickly with little fanfare. Not because I don’t want to honor my own mom, because I do. She’s an amazing lady (and an even more amazing Grammy!) who deserves to be recognized. You can read all about her in this previous post. But this day holds so much pain, not just for me but for many women. I wanted to take a moment today to recognize the bittersweetness this Mother’s Day tradition can bring.
To the woman who has been trying for a baby for months or years, I see you, and I was you. There’s not a lot of comfort that people could say to make the hurt lessen, but I want you to know that you are loved and valued by God. Remember, your worth is NOT in whether your womb is empty or not. You are just as much a woman as the person with a dozen kids! If you need to take time away from the prying eyes and unsolicited (sex) advice on this day, stay home! Tuck your feet up with a good book, pour a bubble bath, have your hubby order takeout, and just give yourself grace to grieve this emptiness.
To the busy mom with one or a dozen kids, you are doing a great job! When you feel like you’ve gone a whole day without doing anything, remember that you kept your little ones alive! They won’t remember the dirty dishes in the sink or the pile of laundry on the table. They’ll remember the little things you did to make them feel seen and heard and special. Try not to get bogged down in the mundane tasks so that you miss out on what a wonderful gift motherhood is. But also recognize that man, it’s kinda tough! You’re doing a great job!
To the woman who has carried life in her womb but is now sitting with empty arms, my heart breaks for you. I also know that loss. The pain is sometimes too great to bear. Please be easy on yourself today. Cry as much as is necessary, find something to smile about even if it’s the comics in the Sunday paper, buy yourself a yummy treat, get flowers, go for a drive (can you tell I’ve had a lot of experience in trying to cope!) Know that you are loved and also worthy of honor.
To all my single friends, the women who are most often overlooked on this day, I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, but I do know that some of you experience a sense of loss as well. Your womb and arms are also empty. Please know that you are a beautiful treasure made in God’s image. You are just as important to the world as wives and mothers. So often our society paints a picture that you haven’t fully arrived until you’re married with a few kids in tow. That’s NOT true! Remember what a gift you are to the world.
To my beautiful baby who has helped me realize what a gift motherhood is, thank you. I love you beyond words. It is an honor and a privilege to raise you. You’re hitting so many milestones already, and I can’t wait to continue getting to know your sweet personality in these upcoming years. I can’t promise to be a perfect mom, but I serve a perfect Savior, and I pray that I can emulate His love to you. Thanks for making me a mommy.
And to Josh, thank you for the countless ways you’ve supported me in this grief over the past decade. I can’t believe we have this miracle baby! It’s pretty fun to have someone to celebrate with. Thanks for sticking with me through the hard times and the good times.
Finally, Jesus, thank you for new life. Thank you for hearing me in my worst points. Help me to be the best mom who models you. Please be with these women today who are hurting, missing their mom or grieving a baby who died, or feeling the emptiness that infertility or singleness brings. Thank you that You promise to draw near to the brokenhearted. Amen.
Until next time,
Abby